Square Peg

I am having this mini-identity crisis lately, which I will have to expound upon later. It's too late for details now, but I wanted to get this post started because it's been rolling around in my brain for a while.

My political misplacement began when we changed our TV subscription to include Fox News because we only had CNN and Glenn Beck was moving from CNN to Fox and we really wanted to hear what he had to say about the "new day" in government (let me be clear, I start my day with "Morning Edition" from NPR news, which I LOVE,  so I can get the whole spectrum of news and find the truth somewhere in the middle). Little did I know that my favorite commentator was going to slowly get crazier and crazier until he started fitting in with all the other guys at Fox.

Lemme back up here and say that in the 90's I was a huge Fox News fan. Committed. Loved it. I lived with my grandparents the last 2 years of college, so I would come home to dinner and Shephard Smith and it was all so soothing and delightful. So imagine my horror, to find what Fox has become the past 12 years. I don't know what happened, but there are all these anchor women dressed like they're cocktail waitresses rather than journalists. The headlines, teasers, graphics--everything--are so sensational, they offend my sensibilities. The last straw--or straws, I guess--were when Glenn Beck hyped all these "shocking" revelations, etc. and they turned out to be, well, crap. I'm especially thinking of the time he gave the White House 30 minutes to call and stop him from releasing the news that Van Jones was a 9/11 truther. REALLY? That's all you got, Glenn? 90% of Montanans believe 9/11 involved conspiracy...and you're gonna make THAT the big dirt on Jones? I was MAD. Manipulated. Annoyed. I understand how it fits into the big picture, and I agree that Jones (and the whole posse) has ideas dangerous to capitalism and the constitution, but I don't believe in this sensationalist delivery of the information. It's starting to feel like...well, if the National Enquirer could TALK, it would sound like what I am hearing at Fox, in terms of tone. And it's embarrassing. Good info+paranoia+sensationalist delivery=no more Fox for me. Did Murdock do this? What happened?

Also, I've got a pocket full of religious stuff to share, too. I am discovering a whole new definition of Christianty (this is some CRAZY crap, y'all) from reading "Stealing Jesus" and it explains a lot. A LOT. Maybe it's in the water here in Montana, I don't know. I am gonna be in a hut somewhere typing my unablogger manifesto soon. But I just feel like people in so many facets of life are twisting truth to suit their fancy and it's getting on my last nerve. I kinda keep singing to myself, ala All, "Is everybody crazy or is it just me? Everybody's crazy, it isn't just me!" I'll be back to finish this soon, but I might post some uplifting things FIRST, some things I know are real and true and good, just to balance out the crazy. K, so later...

One Small Update

Oh, I can't wait to blog about conference! But my little Relief Society goals of reaching out, etc., are keeping me pretty busy this weekend. Sister Beck's talk in the Dec. 2005 Ensign has been my inspriation (as well as watching "Julie & Julia") to try to feed spirit & body while building relationships with my family AND my ward family, so I've been cookin' up a storm this week and we're hosting a new family in our ward AND a sister who was recently baptized for conference and homemade pizza dinner. I'm looking forward to all of it.

Anyway, it wouldn't be fair to readers not to mention that my mother sent me a very sweet and apologetic email yesterday between sessions (I knew that the Spirit would work its mojo at some point). While I am grateful the tension has been broken and I could express my love, my resolve to create a different relationship has not wavered. I know that she wrote me because my Aunt told her to, which I think is kind of cute in itself. So I told her that I love her, that will never change, but I am heretofore going to avoid situations that bring up past hurts and I just need time and space to redefine things and to be sure I am putting my family (vs. extended family) first.

For me that means that we have to avoid all situations that involve parenting. I don't want to see how she treats her kids at home and I don't want her disciplining my children. I am ok with her being Nana as long as her role is to make my kids feel like her sun rises and sets on them--that's what Grandmas are for in my book. I'll be the mean mom, she'll be the fun Nana. I don't want to hear about what she has said or done to other siblings and I don't want to have to play along when she's not straightforward with her hubs. So basically, I have to interact with my mother like a (distant) girlfriend to keep it good, and I think that will work.

So I am off to start the breadmaker, y'all. Have a great Sabbath. And hey, won't you come back and share your favorites moments from conference (either here or on the public blog)? I'd love to hear!